But I did figure that the six of you who might be looking for an update of what life’s been like on Planet X(andra).

It’s been hot and muggy, and overscheduled with activities to stave off school-age boredom, spliced between moments of ten-minute writing sprints, stolen from the jaws of inactivity and enervation. Now, in between this, I have been attempting to follow the progress of the ebook/epublishing world, along with traditional publishing’s almost-certainly-imminent demise (you know, the same one that’s been predicted for almost a century, video killed the radio star and all that), and I’ve come up with some interesting observations:

• Writers are still worried about the effect of ebook/digital edition piracy.
• Publishers are more worried, but less inclined to look at the underlying cause, or solutions that don’t involve going head to head with end-users.
• Readers are still irritated that they can’t get their reading material at the price they want to pay for it, when they want it, and in the format in which they want to read it.
• It’s still a hell of a lot of work to write a book.
• It’s still a hell of a lot of work to get anyone to care that you’ve written a book.
• It’s still a hell of a lot of work to do anything in 140 characters or less.

Coming soon, I’ll be making an announcement about where my career is going (not that you care) and where I’m taking my writing (that, you might care a little bit more about). In the meantime, I’m writing, I’m creating, and I’m kinda melting a little. Wear your sunscreen when you go out, and always remember to keep drinking water. Much like plot points, it keeps the wheels turning.

It almost went unheard amidst the exciting chatter about what it was like to get “the call,” work with an editor, decide whether to hire a publicist, and to do that all-important thing every writer wants to do after the first sale–order swag (oh yes, we love the shinies.  Pens, fridge magnets, bookmarks, little bitty bubble bottles with the name of our book stuck to them, hell yeah, we love that shit).  It almost went completely under the radar amidst the talk about how making the USA Today list or the Waldenbooks list or even, gasp, the Times or the Times Extended can change your career (and simultaneously have no effect on your life, because people still don’t recognize you at the grocery store).

She spoke those quiet words, and silence swept the room for just a second.  Things returned to normal shortly afterwards, of course, but those words tucked themselves away in my brain, only to resurface years later after I’d gotten “the email” and wondered, “what next?”

I knew I wasn’t going to be one of the ones who immediately ordered a bazillion pens (but damn, did I want to.  I never say no to a pen).  I didn’t have the budget, and kept my head firmly on my shoulders–no spending more than I’d likely make, and epublishing being what it was at the time, I knew I wasn’t likely to win the lottery of a runaway hit (and even if I did, the digital version of “runaway hit” does not a millionaire make).  I chose Fridge Magnets (next to pens, I love fridge magnets–my refrigerator keeps ice cream cold and also serves as filing cabinet and art gallery), and I did so acknowledging that most of my promo should happen online, where my books are.

I made a website and started a blog.  I created a sig line and haunted forums where writers and readers gathered.  I joined yahoo groups.  I guest-blogged, group-blogged, and blog-toured.  Guess what?

That’s right.  It ate me alive.  I ran contests–although not nearly as many as others have, and without nearly as many of the hair-raising results.  I participated in chat loops and author chats where the emails flew fast and furious and ate up gigabytes.

And I hated it.

Yeah, that’s right.  I couldn’t stand getting on the loops and talking up because it felt so damn fake.  I wanted to sell my book.  I still do want people to buy my book (and read it and like it!), but I have never been one of those people who enjoys talking myself up.  I feel like a fake and I feel like a dork.  Sure, put me somewhere where the subject matter is something I got something to say about and yes–I’ll talk your ear off.  Eventually.  But only after I’ve lurked forever and feel like I have something meaningful to say.  And reading for me has never been a large-group experience.  I like a book, I’ll tell a handful of people about it, but I don’t gush over it to all and sundry.  Video games, yes.  Books–no.  They’re an intensely personal experience to both read and write.

I didn’t want to be yet another voice screaming out, “Look at me! Look at me!”

That’s why I don’t make appearances on loops much.  Occasionally, I’ll post an excerpt, blurb, or rarely, an announcement, because I feel like excerpts and blurbs have value–they are samples of my writing.

I know that’s probably not the right way to do it.  I should be chatting, getting involved with readers, making connections and making friends.  But friends and connections are about more than squee/agree posts on a chatters’ loop. And they should damn well be a hell of a lot more than thinly disguised marketing efforts.  We all brand ourselves as authors with catch-phrases and taglines (I’m guilty of it myself), but at some point, the advert is over.  What you have left, then, is the writing.

And if you’re eaten alive by the promo, what’s left over for the writing?

And I still missed half a sentence in the course of things. On the first page. Awful, huh? Then, in the course of edits, at one point, I saved and closed the file for the night. The next day, I reopened the file and found out that my straight quotes/smart quotes settings had been reversed. Cue Xandra frantically combing through the entire story looking at every single quote.

And to top that off, I just realized, I forgot to put the blurb at the top of the document. Cue Xandra’s hair falling out. Head, meet desk.