Boundaries and Squick

Monday, March 19th, 2007 @ 5:54 pm | Genre, Writing

In surfing some erotica-writing sites, and re-reading my copy of Susie Bright’s “How To Write a Dirty Story,” I keep coming across the idea that one of the purposes of writing and reading erotica is to stretch your boundaries. Erotica that is described as “edgy” or “pushes the envelope” seems to be the thing to strive for. When I really think about this, I’m puzzled and conflicted. Mostly because reading erotica stories that push the envelope often leave me wanting to send the thing back to the post office.

I realize that everybody’s boundaries are different, and I’m certainly no vanguard when it comes to adventurous sexual themes. But I find myself wondering at a piece of my writing and remembering how much passion I put into it and then realizing when I look at it that, well, it ain’t that new. But I read it, and if I’ve done it properly, when I read it again, I still feel the same heart coming through the writing.

Romance as a genre is partly predicated on the fact that there are certain conventions–reader expectations, so to speak, that need to be present in order to make the story more enjoyable. It creates a conundrum, then, when I look at what I’ve written and it doesn’t seem unsettling. It didn’t make me nervous, or challenge my sense of boundaries…but it made me feel content that those characters were in a better place from where they started out. I put the piece down and I’m happy that the characters have grown into something better, or happier.

But when I read some of that boundary-pushing erotica, I finish the piece without that happy, contented feeling about the characters. Like Story of O. I finished the piece wanting to rewrite the last half of the book to show O discovering mutant superpowers, kicking the boyfriend in the jaw, and burning the Chateau to the ground. And then finding a nice, respectful man who would worship her to settle down with. Or at least, stop being a damn dishrag. Oh, sure, later on, I thought, “Wow, what an amazing commentary on the psychology of submission, and how interesting it is that a person can feel fulfilled by allowing their self-determination to be subsumed by someone else’s desires. And wow, I think I used ’subsumed’ right but I’m not totally sure. Oh, look–shiny!”

So the question that begs for an answer is this–how do the expectations of romance intersect with the deliberate absence of expectations in erotica? What kind of balance does an author strive for between the emotionally comfortable and the thought-provoking squick?

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Mixx
  • Google
  • BlogMemes
  • Furl
  • LinkedIn
  • MySpace
  • Technorati
  • TwitThis
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

5 Responses to “Boundaries and Squick”

  1. JOYE Says:

    A friend told me about your website and I am glad she did. Your books sound like the ones I like to read. I tried to sign up for your newsletter but it would not go through. Culd you add me to your list?

  2. Rebecca James Says:

    Hey Xandra! Interesting post. (I found the link to your blog on Laurie’s blog - we share an editor :))

    I think you’ve kind of answered your own question in your experience of the STORY OF O. That book made you think - about human nature etc etc - but it didn’t necessarily leave you happy or satisfied. I guess an author needs to decide what they want to write; though- provoking, or happy- making.

    Although, having said that, I don’t see why an author couldn’t try for a nice balance between both.

  3. Xandra Says:

    Thanks for finding your way here, Joye! I’ll try to add you if the Yahoo gods don’t bugger it up! :)

    Rebecca - I agree about finding balance…but damned if it ain’t the hardest thing to figure out where that is. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!

  4. Roxy Harte Says:

    Hmmm…hard questions…I guess I’m over the part where writing sex scenes had me pulling the shades so the neighbors wouldn’t see what I was writing…and I admit that sometimes I get that “ewww” when I’m reading erotica…but then I get that…”Oh goody, can I do that??Please can I, Please?” feeling just as often…

    It really does have to do with pushing peoples personal boundaries, and as authors, we have a hard job because everyone’s boundaries are different. Like one author who was sooooooooooo upset that Kitten(of Sacred Secret) was denied coffee, but when Kitten was forced to use a litter box, that was okay…go figure.

    Until I see you again, get to writing!! I expected something to read this weekend:) Yeah that’s me, Roxy, snapping the whip…

    Hugs

  5. Xandra Says:

    Rox, your kids are old enough. I still have to write the sex scenes in the dark and under the covers–it’s really hard to get into a sexy groove when you’re neck-deep in talking animals and mouse ears. :/

    And I was upset with denying Kitten her coffee first! :P Some boundaries just shouldn’t be crossed! :D

    Whip away, m’love. I need it and you do it so well.

Leave a Reply